But How Should I Pray?

Based on the Lord's Prayer: "Our Father, Who art in heaven …"

From a talk by Dr. Jim Stout

If someone asked the average Christian, "Hey Christian, how's your prayer life?" He'd say, Great— I'm busy as a deacon, I sing in the choir, and I teach Sunday School.

Then, the question-asker probes more: "How's your prayer life, really?"

Many Christians would say, "Lousy, sporadic. A dull ritual of going through the motions. I didn't expect anything anyway."

Perhaps you've become discouraged about your prayer life. Many believers are. Just because you've committed your life to Jesus Christ doesn't mean prayer becomes easy automatically.

When a person puts their faith in Jesus Christ as their personal Savior, they are born again spiritually and become a spiritual "infant." A newly born child isn't instantly given the ability to speak. The capacity is there, but he or she must be taught.

Likewise, Christians need to learn how to talk to God. Becoming powerful in prayer requires effort, much like becoming proficient at a hobby, business, or sport. Just as specific physical laws govern the universe, so too are there spiritual laws that must be observed to have meaningful and effective prayers.

This message discusses how to pray. We will examine six guidelines, each based on a part of the Lord's Prayer that our Savior used as a model. Let's begin.

Guideline # 1: "Prime the Pump" Before You Pray

My Grandfather used to take me hunting every Fall in the mountains near Coudersport, Pennsylvania. We'd stay in a rustic hunting cabin he owned.

I'll never forget my first time there. I was thirsty from two hours of hunting. I went out to the kitchen. There was a rusty old cast-iron pump. I tried to pump and couldn't get any results. So, I asked, "Grandpa, how can I get any water out of this?"

He said, "Look, Jim, if you want water from the pump, go out to the little stream next to the cabin. Get a couple of quarts of water and pour them down the pump. They'll go down the pipe down into the well, and that'll help prime the pump, and it'll work."

I followed his advice and poured several quarts of water down the pump to prime it. Sure enough, in a few minutes, water came gushing out. That incident is a good illustration of the power of prayer. To achieve results in prayer, you must "prime the pump."

Unless you are the rare individual with a mystical bent, I doubt that God is going to give you a message of brightly colored words written in the sky. I've never seen a vision. I've never heard God speak to me in an audible voice.

God's primary way of speaking to us is through the Bible, which is why it's called the written Word of God. It's where God reveals His thoughts and plans for us.

"Priming the pump" means we need to expose ourselves to God's thoughts before we talk with Him. Prayer is not a monologue or only meditation. It is dialogue, a two-way conversation. Sometimes we get so busy talking, we need to stop and learn to listen. How is God going to speak to us if we're not familiar with some of His Words? The Bible is loaded with promises of God to you as a believer. That's why it's important to "prime the pump." Open up the Bible. When possible, read some of it before you pray.

Guideline # 2: Focus Your Attention Completely on God

Make sure your attention is focused on God and not diverted by other matters.

Notice the first two words of Jesus' model prayer are "Our Father." The Lord's Prayer begins by focusing on God. For our prayers to be helpful, they must be focused fully on God. Our minds can be filled with many distractions, including worries, resentments, and to-do items.

How easy it is when praying aloud to be concerned primarily with how our words sound to others. How easy it is to have our mind filled with the thoughts of what we need... instead of being occupied with the thought of the mighty loving Father from whom we're seeking help. How easy it is to let our mind wander aimlessly as we mouth words.

How would you feel if you were talking with someone and he just started looking around, paying no attention to you? How do you think God feels when we do this?

The Lord's Prayer begins with "Our Father" because Jesus was trying to show us that first of all we must direct our attention to God alone.

I like the way that Robert Frost describes our wandering attention in his poem titled Not All There:

I turned to speak to God About the world's despair But to make matters worse I found God wasn't there.

God turned to speak to me (Don't anybody laugh) God found I wasn't there At least not over half.

How do we focus our attention on God? It takes a deliberate effort. Concentration. When you're talking with your wife, one of your children, or a friend, it takes concentration to carry on a meaningful conversation. It's the same way with prayer.

Picture your Heavenly Father bending over eagerly to listen to what you have to say to Him. That's why the Lord's Prayer begins with "Our Father."

Guideline # 3: Pray With Believing, Expectant Faith

The words of the Lord's Prayer begin with "Our Father, Who art in heaven." Think about the words "Who art in heaven." Four words. Very significant. They're a tremendous assertion of faith. "Who art in heaven" presupposes that the universe is not impersonal and that all of life is not blind chance. These words affirm the reality of a loving Heavenly Father whose sovereign hand is at work in the situation, no matter how confusing or complex life may be. Let's face it. There are tragedies we can't understand. To assert "Our Father, Who art in heaven" takes faith that there is Someone out there who does care, who is personal, who has the very hairs on our heads numbered!

The writer of the Bible puts it this way:

Without faith, it is impossible to please God, for he that comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is the rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. (Hebrews 11:6)

Not long ago, I was amused by a TODAY'S CHUCKLE from the Miami Herald. It went like this:

A little boy getting ready for bed interrupted a family gathering in the living room to say this, 'I'm going up to say my prayers now. Anybody want anything?'

Now, that's a confident, expectant faith!

Guideline # 4: Be Honest About Your Feelings

When you talk with God, level with Him, He already knows what you're thinking and feeling, but He wants us to be aware and raw with sharing our deepest sorrow and joys:

You have searched me, Lord, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; You perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down. You are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue, You, Lord, know it completely (Psalm 139:1-4)

Catch the words of the Lord's Prayer: "Forgive us our debts as we forgive our debtors." The Greek meaning of the word debts is "failure to pay that which is due." How much more honest could we be with God than to admit to Him our shortcomings, our sins, our failures? To say, "Forgive me my debts." That's specific. That's honest. That's leveling with God.

God is much more interested in hearing us say "real words" than "right words." He's not impressed by flowery language. God isn't interested in stuffy, formal conversation with Him. He wants us to share our deepest feelings with Him.

If you don't know how to pray, then your prayer should be, "Dear God, I don't know how to pray. Please teach me."

If you're depressed, level with Him and say, "Lord, I'm really down today. I'm so depressed I can hardly pray. Please help me."

If prayer has been a dull routine, tell Him that. "Lord, it seems like I've been getting a busy signal. I can't get through to You. Please help me."

If you've got doubts, let Him know that. He's God. He can handle doubts. He wants to know your feelings. That's why the Psalmist said: "The Lord is near to all them who call to Him, to all that call upon Him in truth."

Guideline # 5: Accept God's Will Ahead of Your Own Will and Plans

Catch the words of the Lord's Prayer: "Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven." Jesus means that we've got to be willing to let God call the shots in our lives. To let our desires, our judgments, our wishes be subordinate to what He wants. Why? Because God can see around the corner. He knows what's best for you.

Normally, when we come to God in prayer, we come first with our needs, then we bother to concern ourselves with His interests. Notice how the Lord's Prayer reverses this. The first half deals with God's interests: "Thy name, Thy kingdom, Thy will." Then Jesus teaches us to bring our needs: "Give us our daily bread, forgive us our debts, lead us, deliver us."

If you're truly willing to let God mold your way, you'll never get shortchanged. You'll be opening yourself up to His richest blessings.

Guideline # 6. Be Specific in Your Prayers

Notice the precise wording of the Lord's Prayer: "Give us this day our daily bread." Very specific, concrete, measurable.

Remember the story about Jesus' encounter with Bartimaeus, a blind beggar. One afternoon, Jesus was on His way to Jericho. The trip was hot and dusty, and a crowd of curiosity seekers followed Him. Pushing. Shoving. Yelling. On the side of the road was a blind beggar, Bartimaeus. He cried out, "Son of David, have mercy on me." Jesus stopped, turned around, and looked at Bartimaeus.

Mark's Gospel records: "And Jesus answered him and said, 'What do you want me to do for you, Bartimaeus?' Bartimaeus said, 'Lord, I want to see.'" Bartimaeus would never have been healed had he not been specific in his request to Christ.

Likewise, our prayers should be specific. God's not interested in vague prayers like, "Lord, help me love mankind." Rather, He wants us to be SPECIFIC: "Lord, help me love my mother-in-law today!"

I think God desires us to be concrete more for our sakes than for His. Crystal-clear prayer forces you to understand your own needs more clearly. That takes self-scrutiny, thought, and introspection.

Not only that, but praying unambiguously will teach you to look for and recognize answers when they come.

To review, how should we pray?

1. Prime the pump first by reading God's Word before you pray.
2. Focus your attention on your Heavenly Father and try not to be distracted.
3. Ask God with a sense of expectant faith.
4. Be honest with God about your inner feelings.
5. Be willing to accept His will ahead of your will.
6. Be specific in your requests.

May you discover the power and adventure of deepening your conversational relationship with God! Go for it! Enjoy experimenting with prayer!

Questions to Discuss

1. Share an answer to a prayer you've had this past year.
2. What two specific things can I pray for you?
3. Let's try a 2-3 sentence conversational prayer and pray for each other.

On the Journey with you,

Jim Stout