The Strange Journey of Going Over the Hill
"You, Lord, keep my lamp burning…"—Psalm 18:28
When an hourglass is first filled with sand, the sand moves slowly, at a steady pace. Yet, as the hourglass's sand nears emptying, the sand picks up speed and flows faster and faster … until the hourglass container is empty.
The saying, "When you start to go over the hill, you pick up speed," is sobering. Similarly, as we age past fifty, our time seems to be more and more compressed and rushes ahead at a dizzying speed.
This aging phenomenon of finding our lives and all that we do and want to do increases in velocity. For most youth and adults, there never seems to be enough hours in a day to cram in all our shoulds and wants. For us "over fifty" folks, this awareness of our narrowing time is especially true, even shocking. But it is only one side of a two-sided coin. It's only half true.
Many folks discover that aging accelerates as they hit 70+, as they pick up speed in the last quarter of their lives. It's like in an NFL football game when the "two-minute warning" comes into play when injuries seem to pile up in the final one hundred-twenty seconds of clashes.
Some seniors compare "going over the hill" to being in a rowboat without a paddle on the swift-flowing Niagara river, helplessly shoved by the strong current toward the very edge of Niagara Falls. The last 100 yards before the falls go fast, then, suddenly, he rowboat will rapidly plunge over the falls into the whirlpool below and oblivion.
Life seems to zip by faster and faster during its last quarter, with less and less time for "to-do" tasks, hobbies, travel, and countless" want-to-to-dos." Every week becomes more and more cluttered with little things and big ones: cleaning the dishes in the sink, emptying the garbage, hobbies, projects, trips, doctors' appointments, lab tests, children and grandchildren visits, social activities … all seem to be squeezing into a shorter and shorter period. So much to do, so little time left to do it.
This side of the aging coin is made up of demands for living at a quicker, unrelenting pace, with less energy to finish all the to-dos or want-to-dos.
The other side of the coin displays a different picture of aging: a boat caught in calm waters and completely stopped, completely inactive in the water. Instead of being driven by powerful undercurrents toward the watery brink, this other rowboat gets detoured into a motionless, stagnant pool next to the fast-moving river.
It is an oarless rowboat, helplessly immobilized in the still water. Its owner has been halted by illness or injury. Often its occupant is bedridden, confined to using a walker or wheelchair. No place to go. Nothing to do. Unable to walk, remember, or help others in measurable ways. Simply stuck: like a dead man floating in the water. Life has, for all practical purposes, sidelined this boat to merely existing from hour to hour, day to day, week to week—from all usefulness and purpose.
Each side of the "aging coin" has its own challenges. Likewise, each boat occupant requires individualized readjustments, different levels of acceptance, and personalized life planning.
Both sides are besieged by anxiety and fear. The side of the coin with the boat floating over the falls is inundated by panic and rash decisions. The other side of the inert boat is suffocated by indecisiveness and self-pity.
As we pass sixty-five, our future will probably be marked more by losses than by gains. Most likely, our times will be characterized by sad goodbyes to deceased family members and friends. Other losses will be careers, optimal health, youthful endurance, and similar forfeitures. Each of these changes will involve grieving.
Along with our numerous farewells will come frequent hellos—to more physical ailments and health-related appointments: lab tests, doctors, and pharmacies. These will be accompanied by decreasing energy.
None of this comes as a surprise to most seniors. Intellectually, we've long recognized it simply as the way life is. Yet, when our intellectual understanding of life's last quarter meets head-on with the reality of our own aging, we are so often jolted by its "sudden" appearance. For loads of people, it's like being hit on the head by a sledgehammer. We think, "I thought growing older would take longer!"
This unexpected head smash shoves us into varying degrees of panic, anxiety, fear, depression, anger, or regret. When we encounter change and the unknown, most people experience these emotions—at different times and in different measures.
Dealing successfully with our new "aging reality" will require a 180-degree shift in how we live. We must make major "attitude adjustments" and new coping skills.
Maximizing our remaining years—for self-satisfaction, family, friends, personal projects, travels, hobbies, and other matters of importance to us, calls for a new paradigm of outlook and actions.
At the very least, facing of this new experience of "growing older" can give you and me:
- A renewed significance to every moment life gives us,
- A hallowing of every relationship we have, and
- A chance to make the most of every opportunity to show love, help, encourage, create, make amends, and rebuild.
Key Quotes to Ponder as You Age
- "It is what it is." (Author unknown)—Accept the reality of the aging process. Don't deny it. Deal with it—positively, constructively.
- "All you can do is all you can do."—(J.E. Lawrence)
- Remember that there are only twenty-four hours in a day, AND you are not God.
- "A man's got to know his limitations."—(Clint Eastwood to his superior in Magnum Force)—aging does limit our energy, time, and abilities. Accept it and deal with it.
- Never compare yourself with anyone else— "We do not dare to classify or compare ourselves with some who commend themselves. When they measure themselves by themselves and compare themselves with themselves, they are not wise."—2 Corinthians 10:12
- Do for others and yourself whatever you can, whenever you can, however, you can—"I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still, I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do."—Helen Keller.
Key Bible Statements to Remember as You Age
"Our days may come to seventy years, Or eighty if our strength endures; Yet the best of them are but trouble and sorrow, For they quickly pass, and we fly away … Teach us to number our days, That we may gain a heart of wisdom."—Psalm 90:10, 12
"There is a time for everything, And a season for every activity under the heavens: A time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak."—Ecclesiastes 3: 1-7
"My times are in your hands."—Psalm 31:15
"As they pass through the Valley of Baka, They make it a place of springs; The autumn rains also cover it with pools. They go from strength to strength, Till each appears before God in Zion."—Psalm 84:6,7
"The righteous will flourish like a palm tree, They will grow like a cedar of Lebanon; planted in the house of the Lord, They will flourish in the courts of our God. They will still bear fruit in old age, They will stay fresh and green, proclaiming, "The Lord is upright; He is my Rock, and there is no wickedness in him."—Psalm 92:12-15
"Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise,making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord's will is."—Ephesians 5: 15-17
"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you."—Psalm 32:8
Above all, repeat to yourself, often, the words about aging by baseball great's Satchel Paige:
"How old would you be if you didn't know how old you were? Age is a question of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter."