Four Suggested Guidelines for Recovering and Rehabbing from a Physical or Emotional Injury/Illness—For All Ages

Practical Info from the School of Hard Knocks, whose school colors are black and blue!

Jim Stout's Lessons and Guidelines learned from the trenches of physical and emotional recoveries based on his:

• Eight knee surgeries (including five total knee replacements), a heart stent, and various other "hospital vacations" for UTIs, Sepsis, Cellulitis, Pneumonia... and Jim's 29 days of Hospitalizations in the last few years:
  • March 17-19- 3 days--for DVT Blood clot behind left knee), UTI, Sepsis & Cellulitis
  • June 25, August 10, December 9 & other years' dates- ER only-for Cellulitis and UTI's
  • July 8-13- 6 days--UTI & Sepsis
  • July 13- 24- 11 days--Newport Nursing Rehab for UTI & Sepsis & balance
  • Most recently--June 6-14, 2022—for a bad UTI
  • Plus, Jim's nearly six months of psychiatric hospitalizations for depression and bipolar disorder in 1988-89.

Jesus Christ said, "I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world."—John 16:33 (Emphasis mine)

Whether you are 15, 25, 50, or 75, the hard reality of recovering and rehabbing from a mental or physical trauma may now be your "new normal."

No matter our age, many of us discover that the amount of time it takes to "get better and stay better" takes a huge amount of time— that used to be used for our family, friends, hobbies, travel, and work.

As we grow older, we discover that aches, pains, and emotional upheavals seem to take longer to resolve and often even worsen. Our days become more and more filled with self-absorbed attempts to regain our "old selves," to stay active, healthy, emotionally balanced… and upbeat.

No matter what our age, as we inch through the weeks and months towards feeling better, we find that our formerly-reliable inner resources and motivations are unpredictable and often inadequate.

Sometimes these losses of control can, at times, overwhelm us with panic, frustration, resentment, or lengthy pity parties. Sadly, most likely, these new side effects won't go away. At least, not completely. We'll need to know fresh strategies to cope with our reactions or innovative ways to overcome these physical or emotional obstacles caused by injuries or illnesses.

If we don't experiment and learn new "tricks of the trade" to stay positive, our difficulties can jade us into angry, pessimistic, or fearful people.

But you and I can choose how we will respond to our unaccustomed anxieties. We can:

• Soak in self-pity, fear, or resentment— and infect our misery on ourselves and all who are dear to us, or we can decide to
• Dread every day quaking with anxiety and anger, or we can
• Make the most of all the unwelcome changes around us by practicing the "Three Suggested Guidelines for Recovering and Rehabbing."

I've tried all three of the above choices. The first two made me and others miserable. But finally, after much trial-and-error experimenting, I've discovered these Three Guidelines. I offer them to you as "suggested" Guidelines— for handling your uninvited circumstances.

As you apply them to your annoyances, they can be a huge help in maintaining:

• Your sanity,
• Your inner peace, and
• Your usefulness to others who need your skills and experiences:

Guideline #1: Never Stop Setting Measurable Goals and Timelines

Goal-setting will give us purpose and direction. Without goals, we flop like fish out of water. Goals can pull us out of nose dives or push us through drawn-out health problems or strained relationships.

Guideline #2: Accept the Fact that How We Respond to Our Aging and Health Issues Is the Key Factor in Our Happiness

These new medical/mental health conditions mean we'll have less energy or unpredictable get-up-and-go levels. So rather than beating up on ourselves for lack of motivation, we need to remind ourselves often, "OK, I don't have the oomph to do this activity today. I'll try again tomorrow or next week." Or we can self-talk, "Okay, that goal didn't work. Now I'll revise it, change it, or drop it."

Guideline #3: Grade Ourselves by Using the "Recovery Grading Curve"—For All Our Responsibilities and Activities as We Move Forward the Next Year or So

Dealing with any kind of infirmity is like fighting with one hand tied behind our back. It's discouraging, if not defeating, to compare ourselves with our past abilities or judge our current proficiencies with those of others.

We need an "equalizer." So grading our "performance" by using this new "Grading Curve" can limit our guilt over "failures" —by leveling the playing field compared to our former, pre-injury/pre-illness abilities or to other people who are healthier than us.

Remember how some of your high school or college teachers graded on a curve? This is now how we must evaluate ourselves and our ambitions— by grading them on a curve.

Here's how the "Recovery Grading Curve" works:

Let's say you set a goal of walking once a day around your large neighborhood block.

Instead of giving yourself a pass/fail grade for your walking, try this:

• If we only walk halfway around our large, 4-sided block goal, we give ourselves an A;
• If we only walk a quarter of the way around our large, 4-sided block goal, we give ourselves a B;
• If we only walk an eighth of the way around our large, 4-sided block goal, we give ourselves a C.

This simple grading formula will give us a realistic sense of accomplishment—much like golfers who use handicap scoring for keeping their score against better opponents. The handicap equalizes the field of a novice golfer vs. a great golfer.

Likewise, our handicap might be an injury, an illness, or simply an age-related deficiency. No shame in using the "Recovery Grading Curve" just like a golfer's handicap. Why not try it yourself?

Guideline #4: Be Willing to Go to Any Length, and Do Whatever It Takes to Take Back Your Life, to Resume as Close as You Can, Your Previous Lifestyle

To "go to any lengths" to get better and stay better means:

• Learning new strategies,
• Leaning on others (medical/mental health professionals as well as fellow sufferers, and
• Using the advice from others (by experimenting, adapting, and implementing what works best for you).

Here are a few ideas that you might try:

• Use the expertise of doctors, counselors, physical/occupational therapists, or medications—Don't hesitate to get second opinions if you're not seeing good results.
• Try using rehab equipment such as a cane, walker, wheelchair, walking poles, hearing aids, or glasses.
• Meet regularly with supportive family members or friends.
• Attend a support group meeting.
• Change your job or career. Or amend your work hours or job description.
• Take up a new hobby.
• Escape boredom or down times by vegging on TV, seeing a movie, concert, or sporting event.
• Exercise—experiment to find what you like that keeps you moving: walking, bicycling, bowling, golfing, jogging, or others.
• Spend time with a pet—yours or someone else's. Maybe adopt a pet.

Let's face it. Any life stage (ages 1-100+) means ongoing adjustments. Life is all about recovering—and bouncing back is necessary to survive and thrive. In fact, recovering and rehabbing from emotional or physical wounds are continuing realities. Even though there are countless tools and strategies for coping, overcoming, and recuperating is no easy task for anyone.

So be good to yourself as you deal with the roller coaster ride of life's ever-changing landscapes. Yes, at times, you and I will make bad decisions and mess things up. That's part of being human. But if you hang on amidst your setbacks, you will discover new hopes, satisfactions, and joys. You can do it. And God himself will be with you and guide you along the way.

Catch what God says:

So do not fear, for I am with you; Do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.—Isaiah 41:10

Count on this.

On the journey with you,

Jim